


Concordia Cum Veritate

by Eccehomo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-08-23 11:22:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16618013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eccehomo/pseuds/Eccehomo
Summary: After a painstaking effort to save Harry, Louis begins to unfold their shared past that sets towards an unforgiving future.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [creasedpages](https://archiveofourown.org/users/creasedpages/gifts), [Harryboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryboo/gifts), [DuckieLuver07](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuckieLuver07/gifts), [luv_u_4eva_418](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luv_u_4eva_418/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [lunalang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunalang/gifts), [harryslilbigtoe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryslilbigtoe/gifts).



_Prologue_

“ Louis! Louis wake up !!”

Louis is startled from his sleep. He is confused. It takes him a few seconds to realize he is in his own room, in his own bed, with Zayn crouching over him. There is too much shadow drop on Zayn’s face for Louis to make out the intense fear in his eyes.

“What?” Louis sits up. “What are you doing in my room?” His voice comes in a low whisper despite wanting to shout.

“Help me! Oh god….. oh god!” Zayn sits on the bed, his hands scan over the bed sheets before they cover his face.

“Zayn!” Louis shouts. “What’s going on mate?” “What happened?” Louis can sense the urgency in Zayn’s voice and he begins to fear the worst.

“Fuckkkk!” Zayn hisses with anger and self-regret. “I hit someone… oh god….” His voice breaks and he begins to whimper.

“Hit someone?” Louis’ arm rests on Zayn. He has never seen the boy cry before. “Talk to me! What are you saying?”

“I think I killed someone Louis.” Zayn’s confession hits him like a freight train.

He is full out sobbing now.

“WHAT HAPPENED?” Louis shouts again.

“I was turning..” he draws in some shaky breaths. “I didn’t see her, it was so dark and then I hit her”.

“Fuck..”

“I ran out to see her, she was unconsciousness. I was too panicked, I didn’t even check for a pulse.” Zayn’s voice breaks again.

Louis hands him some tissues from his night table.

“There was blood everywhere.” Zayn’s brows furrow. Louis can see that he is playing it all in his head again.

“Try not to think about what you saw. What happened next?”

“I called for an ambulance and police. They took her away.”

Zayn starts sobbing again, this time falling into Louis’ embrace.

“She never came to.” He cries loudly. “I think I killed her.”

Louis tries consoling him. He reaches back with one hand and turns on the lamp.

“Look at me.” He demands.

Zayn moves back to look at Louis.

“You can’t blame yourself. It was dark. It could have been anyone okay?”

Zayn shakes his head in disagreement.

“No it’s my fault! I took a quick turn. I didn’t even check right man!!”  He cries. “I could be charged with death by careless driving! I didn’t even check right!! And I lied to the police.. I said it was dark and she came out of nowhere… but I didn’t even look! And now she’s dead man… dead!!”

“But you don’t know for sure Zayn!”

“No, I’m sure! I’m sure of it. She was dead. Her head hit the curb on the way down. That’s why--”

“Ooooookay…” Louis pulls Zayn back into his arms. “Just stop thinking about how it happened. Let’s focus on what’s happening next and you getting some sleep okay?”

“Sleep?!”

“No? Okay, why don’t we go out for a cig? Its 2 a.m. there’s only so much to do.”

 

* * *

Chapter One

 

_[Five months later]_

 

It’s a cold and unwelcoming November morning. Louis is on his way to work.

He reflects on how hated Mondays are while glancing out the window on a semi-crowded bus headed for the station. He watches the fall colors mix and blend in the open valleys. The bus approaches an intersection and stops for a red light. To his left, a vast open valley that runs a few miles below. Across the valley, is a bridge connecting the east and west sides of his town by train. As he shifts his gaze to the bridge, he notes a figure standing on edge in the distance. It takes him a few seconds to realize that a) someone is preparing to jump off the bridge and b) judging by a quick glance around the bus, he is the only one who’s spotted this figure.

Louis rings to be let off. He does not think or have time to rehearse the right words to convey to this figure. He is filled with adrenaline. He jumps over the fenced area and begins to run for the bridge. The person’s back is to him. Louis can now make out that it’s a boy clad in a black sweater and jeans.

Contrary to his earlier sight, the boy is now seated atop wooden rails that guard the track. His head hangs low.

Louis is now concerned with startling the boy.

He clears his throat loudly as he nears the bridge and stands in place. The figure turns to him and looks surprised to see him. He doesn’t appear startled. That relieves Louis for a second.

He waves a pathetic hand and immediately regrets his choice of greeting. To his surprise, the boy reciprocates the gesture.

Louis manages a forced smile. “Hiya”. He takes a step forward. “May I?”

The boy does not answer. He looks away from Louis and back down at the valley grounds. Louis takes this opportunity to get closer. The boy stands up.

Louis freezes in place and throws his hands up in the air.

“Okay! Okay! I won’t get any closer. I promise.”

The boy doesn’t answer.

Louis struggles for his next words.

“Listen, I’ll be honest with you lad. I don’t know what I can say to you to convince you to come away from there and from doing what I imagine you came here to do.”

He pauses.

“But I can promise you that I will listen to whatever it is you are going through and will do my best to help you in any way I can.”

The boy turns to him.

“That I promise you.” He reiterates.

The boy looks unchanged by Louis’ words.

“You don’t know me. I don’t know you. How about we go for a coffee and get to know each other?”

The boy stares on as if considering Louis’ request.

Louis’ arms come down slowly.

“I’m not sure how well you do with trust, but maybe just this one time, you can trust a stranger?” He smiles at the boy. “Can you trust me?”

The boy looks back down at his feet and Louis can see his eyes swell up with tears.

“Heyyyyy..” Louis takes a hesitant step forward.

The boy doesn’t stop him. He continues to take cautious steps forward until he closes the gap. Louis lays a shaky hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“I’m here okay?” He whispers and tightens his grip on the boy’s shoulder. “Why don’t we go sit on the grass there and talk?”

The boy doesn’t refuse.

“Come….” his hand reaches down for the boy’s hand. “Come with me.” He manages to walk the boy off the bridge and into the open grassy plains.

Louis doesn’t have a plan. He sits down and gestures for the boy to do the same. Louis pulls out his pack of cigarettes and offers one to the boy. He shakes his head.

“No, thank you.”

Louis is taken back at the first words the boy has spoken. He speaks, he is polite and his voice is a lot deeper than Louis imagined it.

“Well, don’t mind if I do.”

“Go ahead.” The boy responds.

Louis takes a drag. “I’m Louis by the way.” He extends his hand out. “Harry.” His hand is met with the boys’.

“Harry….” Louis hums his name. He stares at Harry who doesn’t look away from his feet.

“Harry, I’m not good at this stuff if I’m being honest. I don’t want to push you to talk about it if you don’t want to -”

–“I don’t want to.” Louis is interjected by Harry.

“And that’s totally okay with me.” Louis takes another drag from his cigarette. He studies the hills and valleys that surround them. “It’s beautiful.”

Harry doesn’t respond but Louis can see him nodding in agreement through his peripheral.

The two sit in silence for what seems like eternity as Louis continues to smoke.

“How come we don’t roll down the hills like we used to when we were younger?” Louis asks.

Louis can now feel Harry looking at him. He meets his gaze.

“Let’s roll down the hill.” He smiles at Harry daringly.

“Okay.” Harry responds and it surprises Louis again.

“Okay…..” Louis’ smile grows wider. He flicks his cigarette and lays down. He begins to roll downhill and picks up momentum. He can hear Harry following suit. He continues to roll down until he finds himself on another flat plain. He stops and looks back at Harry who is now rolling down quite fast. He comes to a stop a few feet from Louis.

Harry sits up and picks a few pieces of leaves from his hair.

Louis lets out a small chuckle. Harry turns to him and smiles. He lets out a surprising laugh. He motions to his head. “You’ve umm.. got a leaf in there too.”

Louis is flustered. He feels himself blush as he swats at his hair.

“That was fun.” He says. “Wasn’t that fun?”

“Yeah.” Harry responds with a heavy weight.

“Let’s do it again.”

Harry is up within seconds.

“I’ll race you to the top!!” Louis yells as he gets a head start. He can hear Harry mutter about something not being fair from behind but that doesn’t stop his competitive spirit. He reaches the top before Harry does and waits with one hand up in the air. Harry high fives him when he reaches a few seconds later and they both drop to the ground and start rolling. Louis tries to go faster but Harry’s light weight puts him in the lead. They come to a stop at the bottom of the landing and start giggling again as they remove the bits of leaves they’ve picked up.

Louis gets up and removes the small bits that Harry failed to remove from his hair.

“Nice curls.” He says.

“Thanks.”

He flops down next to him.                                                                                       

“Did you have breakfast yet?” He asks.

“uhh… no.”

“Would you like to?” He smiles. “With me?” he adds in.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Louis chuckles. “I’ll take that to mean yes Harry.”

Harry doesn’t respond. He only smiles coyly.

“Just gotta call in sick, one second okay?” He gets up and removes his phone from his pocket.

“Oh no really! You don’t have to.” Harry gets up after him. “Don’t miss out on work because of me.”

“Nonsense.” Louis shakes his head as his looks through his contact list. “It’s a mediocre office job anyway. They don’t need me.”

“No really.” Harry turns away. “I should go home anyway.”

“Don’t!” Louis yells. He runs to the boy who is now walking away. He grabs his arm. Harry looks taken back. “I’m sorry.” Louis says. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”

Harry doesn’t respond.

“Look, it would mean a lot to me if you grabbed breakfast with me okay?”

“Okay?” He answers puzzlingly.

“I haven’t had time to relax in a long time.” Harry stares on as though he needs more explanation. “I could use a day off. What do you say?”

Harry shrugs.

“I’ve got some extra tokens on me. We can take the bus to the plaza two blocks south and have breakfast at the diner there.”

“Okay.” Harry responds in a hushed tone. He waits as Louis dials into work and takes the day off.

They walk up the remainder of the hill in silence. Louis tries to collect himself and reminds himself not to be overbearing and possessive – traits that he knows can sour any relationship.

 

 

 

 

(Chapter two coming soon. Bookmark.)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 

Louis and Harry sit across each other in a booth. Harry looks over the menu. Louis already knows his order.

“Hope you like the choices.” Louis says.

“There’s too much to choose from.” Harry’s eyes scan the pages slowly.

“Goooood morning!.” Harry turns to find a waiter approaching their table.

“How are we doing?!” He asks.

Louis winces at the question when he thinks of Harry’s honest answer.

“Good.” Harry answers.

“That’s fantastic!” The blonde cheery fellow looks over at Louis and nods. “Are we all ready to order then?”

“Just a few minutes please.”

“Absolutely! How about I start ya off with some drinks then?”

“Sureee… sweet tea for me please.”

 “And I’ll have a black coffee please.”

“Coffee and tea it is! I’ll be right back to get your orders!”

The waiter walks off, whistling to himself.

"Gee… he is awfully cheery for a Monday morning isn’t he?”

Harry smiles in response. “I think I’ll have the eggs benedict with smoked salmon.”

“Great choice.” Louis smiles back.

“What are you having?”

“I’m a sweet kinda guy. I’m going for a stack of chocolate chip pancakes!”

Harry chuckles. “Sweet kinda guy?”

“Is that hard to believe?” Louis retorts.

“No actually. That seems quite fitting.” Harry leans back and settles against the backrest.

“I didn’t get to thank you earlier. I just wanted to say I appreciate you stepping in and all.”

Harry doesn’t make eye contact but he can tell Louis is shaking his head no.

“Ahhhh common. No reason to thank me. I didn’t do anything.”

“Alright! Here we are!” The waiter approaches them with a tray. “A black coffee for you.” He places the cup in front of Louis. “And the tea for you…” He smiles at Harry as he sets the mug before him. Harry doesn’t mean to be rude when he points his finger to Louis. “Ahh – right! Sorry folks!!” The waiter becomes flustered as he rearranges the mugs. “Okay! So what are we having?” He takes out his pen and pad.

Louis gestures for Harry to go first.

“Eggs benedict with the smoked salmon please.”

“Okay…”

“And may I ask that instead of the fruit salad, I get it with a garden salad?”

“You absolutely may!” The waiter answers without looking up from his pad.

“And for you sir?”

“I’ll have the chocolate chip pancakes, without the whip cream please.”

“You got it!” He looks up with his cheery smile “I’ll be back with your orders!” He heads off.

Louis looks at Harry with a smirk.

“What?”

“How much you wanna bet that he’ll get our orders wrong?” he asks.

Harry takes a moment to think about how Louis came to this conclusion. He shrugs.

“I’m hoping he gets it right. Does that count?”

“I’m betting he gets it wrong.”

Louis’ smirk begins to fade. He looks around the diner. It’s mostly older folks who don’t converse with one another. He turns to Harry, who is also scanning the diner. He can’t help but feel worried that their conversation is dying out.

“So what do you do?” Harry asks.

_Louis is relieved that Harry breaks the silence._

“I’m an accountant, I work for an auditing firm.”

Harry looks intrigued with his answer.

“No really, it’s as boring as it sounds. Nothing fancy.” Louis straightens himself up. “What about you?”

“I…..” Harry pauses. “Used to be a photographer.”

“A photographer! That’s pretty neat. What did you shoot?”

“Mostly weddings… babies… some corporate events.” He shrugs while looking away from Louis.

“Neat…. Neat..”

They sit in silence for a few seconds before Louis caves in.

“I’m not really good at small talk.”

“Me neither.” Harry answers.

Several minutes pass in silence. But Louis doesn’t mind it now. It’s a peaceful kind of silence. He no longer feels anxious. He can sense that this peaceful for Harry too. He looks over at the boy who is tracing a finger around the rim of his mug. He watches how the boy’s lashes flutter and how the lines on his face slowly settle and disappear. He can see that the boy is in deep thoughts. He doesn’t bother him. He continues to watch him until the boy looks up meeting his gaze.

The green eyes pierce right through Louis’ soul and he is immediately taken back to reality. He gasps. Words cannot find their way out. And Harry smiles. Louis tries to smile back but Harry’s focus is redirected elsewhere as the waiter approaches their table.

“A stack of some chocolately pancakes for you!” He places the plate before Louis. “And the fine choice of benedict for you!”

Louis stares down at his perfectly stacked pancakes. Nothing wrong or missed on his plate. He looks over at Harry’s and his smirk births to life. His eyebrows shoot up as he meets Harry’s gaze again. He’ll let him have this one.

“Umm…. I asked for the garden salad.” Harry says politely.

The waiter throws his head back. “YES!!! Yes you did!!!” He rolls his eyes at himself. “My apologies! Really, I’m so sorry! I’ll go get you that salad now!”

“It’s okay! Don’t be sorry.” Harry is feeling generous. Louis is not. In fact, he feels some evil running through his veins now. He doesn’t know why but he is feeling mischievous.

“And I asked for whip cream on my pancakes.” He interrupts.

The waiter looks defeated. Harry looks puzzled.

“Okay you know what! You guys wait here.. I’m just going to go to my boss and ask him to fire me.” The waiter begins to take off his apron when Louis interjects. He is laughing manically. No one but him can see what’s going on.

“I’m just pulling ya leg”. He tugs at the waiter’s hand. “Don’t go to telling your boss anything.”

Louis can see that neither Harry nor the waiter look amused.

“I’m sorry.” Louis clears his throat. “That wasn’t nice.”

The waiter manages a smile. Harry doesn’t let in.

“Okay, I’ll go get that salad then.” He walks off.

Louis feels incredibly stupid.

“Why did you do that?” Harry asks.

“I don’t know.” Louis shrugs. “I thought it’d be funny.”

“He may be having a bad day.”

“You know what!” Louis clasps his hands and leans in. “You are probably right and I’m being incredibly insensitive at someone’s expense.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Louis nods and looks down at his pancakes. His smirk begins to show again.

Harry catches on and has a hard time holding back his smile.

They both nod at each other.

“Didn’t I tell you, he’d get something wrong though?”

Harry begins to chuckle.

“Shhhhhh.” He brings his finger to his mouth. “You win the bet. Okay! Don’t let him hear you.”

Louis’ eyes hide behind his smile. He feels the stupidity wearing off.

It’s not long before the waiter is back with Harry’s salad.

“Oh ho ho!! Your garden salad is here!” Louis mocks Harry who is repeatedly thanking the waiter.

“Everything okay so far?” He asks.

“Well, actually, no.” Louis swallows the bit of pancake he stuffed in his mouth. “First off, what is your name?” Louis leans toward the waiter showing genuine interest.

“Niall.”

“Niall. Nice name. I just wanted to apologize for earlier. You were probably having a bad morning and I made it even worse. So again, I’m sorry.”

Niall leans in to their table. He looks back and forth between the pair and whispers: “Well, to be honest, you’re my only fun table this morning. I don’t mind the jesting one bit. I just didn’t catch on at first.” He looks around to make sure no one else is within earshot. “Monday morning tends to bring boring, pretentious, miserable folks who are only here because they’ve either retired or too rich to work.” He steps back from the table and winks at them.

“That’s unfortunate.” Harry responds.

“But we are happy to be your fun table!” Louis chimes in.

“Yeah! Totally! Alright! Let me get on then. You guys dig in!”

 Harry reflects on Niall’s words and can’t help but feel that he too is a boring and miserable folk. Louis isn’t. He looks over to Louis who is now smothering his pancakes in syrup. He meets his gaze. His eyebrows shoot up. “The more sugar the merrier!” He chants.

Harry thinks how nice it must feel to be carefree and really enjoy something. It’s been a while since he’s felt that way about anything. Louis is fun. Louis is daring. He wonders if Louis is this way all the time. That must also be nice.

“How are your eggs?”

“Great. What about your pancakes.”

“Deliciously sweet and carby. You want some?”

“Sure.” Harry surprises himself when he responds with sure. He thinks that maybe Louis’ energy is starting to rub off on him and he doesn’t mind one bit. In fact, it feels liberating.

Harry is caught off guard when Louis holds a loaded fork in front of his face.

“Whoooaa..”

“Shut up and try it.”

He doesn’t hesitate. He savors the moment and takes in the melted chocolate mixed with maple syrup. He nods with pleasure the whole time he chews.

“Right???” Louis is glad he enjoyed it.

“I’ve never been fed by a man before.” Harry says when he is done chewing.

“And I’ve never fed a man before!”  

They exchange smiles and continue to eat in silence.

***

In a few moments, Niall is at their table again, asking if they need refills. It becomes obvious that he needs a break from the others when he instigates a conversation about raccoons.

Louis pretends to be interested. Harry is very interested. He listens to them go on.

_And on._

_And on._

Or so it feels that way to Louis.

He soon realizes that he is feeling envious. Envious that they are meshing well together.

It’s a strange feeling. Louis is not entirely sure why he feels this way. _Ah possessiveness. That’s why._

 _Okay…. I don’t own him. He’s not mine. There’s no reason why I should feel possessive._ He sighs. And then he blurts out something he will later deeply regret.

“Why don’t you two exchange phone numbers? You are hitting it off quite nicely.”

Harry and Niall look surprised. Niall is turning a deep red.

“Ah… sure yeah!” Harry says. Niall turns to Harry with some level of confusion. Harry takes out his phone, ready to go. They both appear unsettled as Niall hesitantly calls out the numbers and Harry taps along.

When Niall is done, Harry doesn’t look up from his phone. Instead, he draws his brows together, focusing on the screen.

“I’ve – I’ve got to go.” Harry says.

Niall steps back from the table. Louis stands up in place.

“Thanks for ev-” He looks at Niall and then Louis. “Everything.” His voice falls soft at the end of the sentence.

“Are you sure you gotta go?” Louis asks as Harry walks away.

But Harry doesn’t answer. He makes a quick getaway.

“I’m really sorry.” Niall says.

Louis looks dumbfounded. He sits back down.

“What for?”

“For intruding on your date. I didn’t-” He pauses. “I didn’t know.”

 “Date? No! I don’t even know him.”

Niall’s brows shoot up in bewilderment. Louis realizes his mistake. “I mean I do. But we are just friends.” He hesitates. “Just friends.” He pauses a moment.

“Oh fuck!!!!” He slams the table hard. “I don’t even have his number.”

He gets up frantically and runs for the door. Once outside, he looks in all directions, hoping to see the boy.

But nothing.

He’s disappeared without a trace.

Louis throws his hands up in frustration and kicks at the door. He can now see that Niall followed him to the door. Louis exhales loudly and goes back inside.

Niall looks at him apologetically.

“I’m – I’m not sure what happened just now but don’t worry about the bill okay?” Niall pats Louis on the back. “It’s on the house.”

Louis sighs. “No. It’s fine. I’ll get the bill.”

“No!” Niall is adamant and stands his ground. He playfully pushes Louis towards the door. “Don’t argue with me…..” He says.

Once he’s held the door open, he hands Louis a piece of paper from his notepad.

“Here. This is my number.”

Louis looks surprised.

“In case… you know.” Niall looks around and back down at Louis. “You need someone to talk to.”

“Oh..” is all Louis says.

“Hope your day gets better.”

“Thanks. Yeah….. you too.” Louis gives him a firmly pressed smile and begins to walk out. Niall smiles politely in turn and closes the door behind him.

Louis walks across the parking lot, thinking about all possible reasons leading Harry to storm out. He stops when he realizes he doesn’t know where he is going from here. He glances down at his watch. It’s only 9:47.

He takes his phone out and sends Zayn a text.

_L: How’s work?_

Louis decides to go home.

Once he’s sat on the bus, he watches out the window, scanning every person, looking for Harry.

_Nothing._

He feels crushed. He doesn’t know why he feels this way but he does. His phone vibrates, distracting him from his thoughts.

Z: _Hey man. Heard you weren’t feeling well. Work is boring. What’s up?_

_L: I’m fine. Just needed a day off. Can you swing by later? I’m feeling a little down._

_Z: I’ve got to sort some court stuff after work but I’ll be there as soon as I can._

_L: Thanks._

_L: Good luck!_

_Z: Yeah, thanks man._

* * *

 

­­­­­­­

Harry arrives at the community hospital. He goes up to the second floor, and towards the east wing.

Outside the room, he spots Jackie. One of the regular daytime nurses in the unit.

“Hi.” He says.

“Good morning.”

“I got pinged?”

“Yes. Dr. Acker wants to speak with you.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s best to speak with the Doctor. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Harry lingers in the doorway for a bit before he finally goes in. He walks to the edge of the bed and looks down at his mum.

She looks peaceful.

He notices that she looks paler than usual and hooked onto more machines.

The heavy weight of stress and worry consume him again. He thinks about how close he was to liberation this morning. He could have been entirely free of these thoughts and feelings if only Louis hadn’t found him. Louis….

A barely-there knock startles him from his thoughts.

Harry walks to where Dr. Acker stands.

“Good morning Harry.”

“Good morning.”

“How are you this morning?”

Harry shrugs. He can’t be bothered with conversations that appeals neither to him nor this doctor.

“Let’s go to my office?”

Harry nods. He tries to avoid looking Dr. Acker in the eyes.

***

Once inside the office, Harry is offered a cup of tea or coffee which he politely declines. Dr. Acker sits behind his desk spread with patient’s medical charts.

“Can you spare me the anxiety and just tell me why you called me here?” Harry abruptly asks.

“Harry.” Dr. Acker draws in a deep breathe.

“There is no easy way to say this….”

“Then say it in the hardest way you can.”

Harry’s anxiety channels to anger. Even he doesn’t recognize himself.

“We can’t do anything more for you mother.” Dr. Acker pauses. “She’s been on life support for 5 months. She’s also suffered extensive brain damage. Last week she had 2 strokes and a seizure.”

Harry sighs loudly and when he exhales it comes with a shaky breath from deep within his chest walls, he begins to cry in his chair. It’s genuine. It’s innocent. Dr. Acker comes from around his desk and places a hand on his shoulder.

“Harry, you need to make this decision. You are her only immediate family member.”

Harry continues to cry.

“She is going to suffer more if you don’t.”

Harry nods. He nods in agreement.

He uses the back of his sleeve to wipe at his face. He gets up from his seat.

“I have to call my Uncle.”

He leaves the office and walks around the corridor to the washroom.

Right now, he wishes Louis never found him. He wishes that he would have met his end. He wishes this conversation never took place but mostly he wishes this decision was not his to make.

* * *

 

Back at home, Louis flips through every channel at least 3 times. He decides he doesn’t want to watch TV. He shuts it off and walks to his bed. He lays there and stares at the ceiling. He tries to recount every moment from earlier that day.

_How can I find him?_

_How can I find him?_

He thinks about what Harry saw on his phone.

Was it something on his phone?

Was it the way Louis suggested he and Niall exchange numbers?

Was he rude?

Did Harry not like the way Louis reacted and decided he’s had enough?

Was he really insensitive?

Louis tosses in bed.

This has to be his fault.

Definitely his fault.

* * *

 

Back at the hospital, Harry sits with his mum’s hand in his. He tries to stay strong around her. He kisses it repeatedly. He lays his head down against their intertwined hands. He thinks of how life can be unfair. He doesn’t know if he is more angry or sad.

He waits on his Uncle and family to arrive. They are on their way to say goodbye.

Harry isn’t ready for this. No one can be prepared for this kind of stuff.

* * *

 

Several hours later, Louis jolts up in bed. He studies the room around him. He must’ve dozed off. He glances at the clock. 5:08 p.m.

He wonders if Zayn had been trying to reach him. He reaches for his phone but realizes there are no missed calls or texts from him.

* * *

 

Uncle Bill walks with Harry down the halls of the east wing. He gives him reassurance about the funeral arrangements.

“You sure you don’t want to stay with us?” He asks for the third time.

“No.” Harry responds. His eyes and nose still burn from all the tears he’d shed while locked up in the washroom.

“Okay….. if you insist. Just remember that your Aunt Marge and I have an open door policy. You come whenever you want okay?”

Harry nods and looks up but his gaze is redirected behind his Uncle. His facial expression quickly changes to drastic anger.

“What are you doing here!?” He shouts as he steps forward.

“I just came to check up- ” Zayn is cut off by Harry. “Get the fuck out of here. How many times do I have to tell you to stop coming!!” Harry feels a tugging on his shirt. His Uncle now stands between them. The three of them shout over each other before Uncle Bill finally sends Zayn on his way.

“She’s dead!!!!” Harry yells. Zayn stops in his tracks. He turns back and looks at Harry who stands like he is ready to fight. “Are you happy now?!”

Zayn wants to say something, but he can’t find the words.

Harry’s Uncle tries to coax him back to his senses but Harry is still going.

“She’s dead because of your fucking careless actions!!”

The hospital staff gather in the corridor looking over at the commotion. Harry doesn’t steer. He continues to curse Zayn while he stands there in silence.

Harry’s Uncle, now defeated, walks over to Zayn. He leads the boy away as Harry continues to throw insults. He does not stop until they are out of sight. Harry leans back against the wall and falls to the ground. He covers his face and begins to sob.

He is alone now.

It finally hits him that he is alone now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When Zayn arrives at Louis’ place, Louis greets him with a beer in hand.

“You look roughed up.” Louis says.

“You have no idea.”

“I almost do. Want a beer?”

“Please.”

Zayn helps himself to Louis’ couch.

“Jesus Louis, four empty bottles…?”

“Told you.”

Louis walks over with a beer for Zayn.

“You wanna go first?” Zayn asks.

“Yeah….” Louis takes a sip before starting.

“So, on my way to work, I see this guy on the Stratton Bridge. He was going jump I guess. So I go out, talk him out of it, take him to breakfast and just as we are about to wrap up he gets up and leaves.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that…”

“You didn’t go after him?”

“I did and he was gone.”

“Jesus Louis… the man was going to jump to his death and you let him slip right through your fingers?”

“I didn’t! I-” Louis pauses. “Shit… you think he actually did it afterwards?”

“I don’t know! What state did he leave in?”

“He was okay. I guess? I don’t know. He seemed to be having a great chat with our waiter before he stormed off.”

“I don’t have answers for you.” Zayn shrugs and sinks into the couch.

“You aren’t interested in this. Okay, maybe you had a worse day. Who did you kill now?”

Zayn shoots him a stern look.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Louis throws his hands up in protest. “Okay.. Sorry. That was insensitive.”

“I killed the same person.”

“What?”

“She passed away today.”

“What!?”

“Yeah… I dropped by the hospital. Her maniac son went off at me and told me she passed away.”

Zayn sinks further into the seat and chugs his beer.

“Fuck….”

“Yeah…..”

“So what does this mean?”

Zayn looks to Louis for further explanation.

“About your charges and all?”

“I don’t know man.”

They both sit in silence for a minute.

“I guess I should call my lawyer.”

“Yeah..”

Louis looks down to Zayn’s empty beer.

“Another beer?”

“Yeah…”

* * *

 

_A few weeks later...._

Louis is still consumed with thoughts of Harry and the possible aftermaths. He feels silly that he is so wrapped up in thoughts about a stranger. But it was a stranger in need. He hasn’t heard from Zayn either. He’s taken a leave from work to sort out his court proceedings.

He tries to replay the events of the ill-fated day but the memories fade as time passes.

_Was there no clue Harry had given?_

_Nothing?…_

Louis can’t remember what was said and done after Harry stormed off. He tries to recall his conversation with Niall thereafter but it’s all muffled sounds inside his head. He remembers walking across the parking lot, looking in every direction. He remembers getting on the bus home and falling asleep.

_There must be something I am missing._

And on this particular afternoon, Louis feels incredibly desperate. Desperate for answers and closure. He remembers that Harry took Niall’s number so Louis does what anyone desperate would do. He heads to the diner to see Niall. But when Louis asks the staff of his whereabouts, he learns that Niall is no longer there. When he pleads for Niall’s number, the staff ignore him and send him off.

_Another missed opportunity._

He feels incredibly defeated.

* * *

 

On the same night, Harry sits at home and looks through his Instagram at familiar faces. He’s become distant from his friends. But for the first time in a long time, he feels the need to socialize. He turns off his phone. He can’t go back to his past. It begs for too many questions that he isn’t ready to answer.

He turns on TV and is greeted by Chef Gordon Ramsey. He watches for a few minutes and begins to think that Gordon reminds him of someone he recently met. He thinks of the waiter at the diner and it clicks.

Harry tries to remember the waiter’s name. He turns on his phone and goes through his contact list, searching for a name that isn’t too familiar. When he sees Niall, it rings a bell.

He sighs when he remembers the day he met Niall and all emotions that came with it. The bridge, the hospital, the morgue. It weighs heavy on his chest but that’s not Niall’s fault.

H: _Hi Niall. It’s Harry. We met at the diner a few weeks ago. How are you?_

Its a few minutes before the reply comes.

_N: Hi Harry. Which one were you? The one that got the pancakes or the eggs?_

_H: The eggs. Wow, you remember that well?_

_N: Hey man! What’s going on? Yeah, it’s incredible that I remember that now and fucked shit up when you ordered. Haha._

_H: Haha._

_N: So what’s up man? You sorta left abruptly. Your date looked crushed._

_H: He wasn’t my date and yeah I sorta had to go take care of some family stuff._

_N: Ahh.. family stuff. That can’t be too good. Hope all is well now. Are you sure he wasn’t a date?_

_H: I would know. Why do you insist?_

_N: I guess it’s because I saw him feeding you and assumed?_

_H: Oh… yeah he did that. I don’t why. But I’m not gay._

_N: That’s a relief! The way he told us to exchange numbers made me feel like I got between you._

_H: No. Not at all._

_N: Haha. To be honest, I was nervous giving you my number. I thought you thought I was gay and was going to try._

_H: Wow._

_N: Yeah. No homo but you are handsome. If I did swing that way, you would have been my choice._

_H: Wow._

_N: Yeah, so what’s up man? You been okay?_

_H: Yeah, I’m alright. Feeling like having a social night. You wanna hang out? (No homo)_

_N: Hahahha. No homo. Yes! I’m down. What did you have in mind?_

_H: I have a PS4, do you play Pro evolution?_

_N: You bet! I’ll bring some booze._

_H: Sounds good. I’ll send you my location through whatsapp._

_N: Cool. Give me an hour? I gotta shower._

_H: Sure. See you soon._

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

_Sorry for the short Chapter, I have busy weekend up ahead, figured something is better than nothing. xx_

 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_Friday Evening_

“How do you suck at a game you own?” Niall asks with a grin.

Harry gives him a sideways glance instead of responding. He’s been anxious all night. He wants to ask Niall about Louis but the words won’t come out.

“Alright, I should get going then, huh?” Niall pauses the game.

“One more game.” Harry responds. He needs to buy more time.

“Alright.... one more, but I get to be Juventus this time.”

“Fine.”

Harry looks over at Niall as he picks out his team’s kit color.

“Hey .... was Louis upset when I left that time?” It wasn’t how Harry rehearsed the start of the conversation but it'll do.

“Louis?” Niall asks without looking away from the screen.

“Ohhhh is that his name?” Niall continues to look at the screen. “He was visibly upset I guess.” He looks at Harry for a split second before turning back. “Why?”

“Just feel bad I guess.”

Niall pauses the game. “I don’t want to ask too much because I don’t care for details … but since nothing adds up…. I’m going to ask anyway.”

Harry doesn’t flinch.

“Are you an escort?”

Harry is taken back…. “Umm.. no. What the hell?”

“Well.. Your buddy Louis let it slip that you he didn’t know you.”

An awkward silence fills the room.

“So, he feeds you, you walk out on him. You insist it wasn’t a date. He is upset that you left and tries to chase after you and now you are asking me if he was upset when you left. Can you see why I’m confused?”

Niall resumes the game.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

Harry is not sure how to respond.

“Louis is a friend of a friend of mine, we met once before at a party and ran into each other that morning on the bus and decided to get breakfast.”

The game starts and Niall passes the ball between his players.

“Yeah…..” Niall finally says, his voice getting lower. “I don’t want to know anymore.”

“Did he ever come back to the diner?”

“I wouldn’t know. I only lasted a week there.”

“Oh…”

“And you guys caught me on my second to last day.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be.” Niall steals the ball off Harry’s player.

“I’m working at a comic book store. A whole lot better.”

Harry steals the ball back from Niall’s player.   
  
“That’s good.”

“I gave him my number.” Niall adds in.

Harry doesn’t respond for a while, focusing on the game.

“Did he ever reach out?”

“Nope. But if he does… should I be concerned about anything?”

“Nope..”

Harry can see that Niall raises a questionable brow but doesn’t press the matter further.

A few seconds pass in complete silence.

“I was going to jump off a bridge that morning.” Harry confesses. He has a hard time swallowing after he speaks his first sentence.

“Louis saw me and talked me away from it. He offered to have breakfast with me. At the diner, when I was taking down your number, I saw that I had a missed ping – it’s what the hospital app sends if a doctor needs you to come in. I ran off because I thought mum suffered another stroke. Never got a chance to say thanks.”

Niall pauses the game.

“Wow, I’m really sorry to hear all this.” He looks over at Harry who tries to avoid eye contact.

“Is your mum okay?” He asks.

“She passed away that day.”

“Man…... I’m really sorry for your loss...”

“It’s okay..” Harry whispers back.

“What about you? How are you holding up?”

Harry shrugs. “There are good days and bad days. I’m working with a therapist so…. It could be worse I guess.”

“Anything I can do for you?”

“No….” Harry manages quick eye contact before turning away. “No, but thanks for dropping by on such short notice. We barely know each other. So I appreciate that.”

Niall leans forward a bit. “Hey man, I can’t pass up video games and booze.”

Harry lets out a small chuckle.

“So that’s why you are looking for Louis?”

Harry nods.

“We didn’t exchange numbers cuz I left in a hurry.”

“Yeah….” Niall holds out his bottle as if he is about to say something but Harry cuts him off.

“I guess I just want to thank him and explain to him why I left abruptly.”

 “Like I said, I gave him my number, if he ever does text, I’ll let him know you are looking for him.”

Harry sits back on the recliner and lets out a slow and deep sigh. He stares at his feet. His curls cover most his vision but he can still see his grey socks hanging over the foot rest and the can of beer in his left hand.

“Harry?”

He is shaken out of his trance.

“Yeah?”

“What if… we go back to where you and Louis met?”

“You mean like the bridge?”

“Yeah. Do you think he passes by often?”

“Maybe….” Harry begins to gather his thoughts. “He said he was on his way to work when he saw me.”

“Okay… do you remember what time?”

“It was early morning around 7 or 8 on the Monday.”

“Does he work corporate hours?”

“Yeah – I guess, if he’s at an auditing firm, he’s probably the type to work Mondays to Fridays right?”

“I would think so…”

“You think this is a good idea?” Harry asks.

 “Only if you want to do this and if it won’t trigger anything by going there.”

“It won’t, I promise.” Harry crosses his fingers.

“Well, you look happier already, so I guess this is a good idea.”

“Let’s go Monday morning.” Harry says eagerly.

Niall stares up to the ceiling trying to remember if he has anything planned. He takes out his phone and checks his calendar.

“Good. Not working till noon. I can go with you in the morning.”

Harry’s eyes widen. “Shit.”

“What?” Niall asks.

“No.. nothing. I had something scheduled but I’ll just call and let them know I won’t make it.”

 

* * *

 

_Louis calls Zayn when he gets home in an effort to distract himself._

L: Zayn…. How’s it going man, haven’t heard from you in a while.

Z: Ahh.. you know… just trying to work out this lawsuit and shit. How you doing?

L: Still dragging on?

Z: Still..

L: That can’t be good for your anxiety.

Z: Nope… barely slept all week. I just want it to end man.

L: You are neglecting yourself again?

Z: I can’t help the way I feel.

L: Common man….

Z: Seriously, I’ve been nauseous this entire week thinking about this upcoming mediation.

L: That bad….?

Z: You have no idea.

L: Shit man. I’m sorry you feel that way. Anything I can do to help?

Z: I don’t know. There’s nothing you can do.

L: I would give you emotional support but I have no idea how.

_Louis can hear Zayn sigh on the other end of the call._

Z: Hey man, is it cool if you come with me to mediation? That lady’s son is going to be there and it wasn’t pretty last time.

L: Sure.. I’ll be there.

Z: Really though? It’s Monday morning. You gonna miss out on work for me?

L: Yeah man, you are wounded and dying, I will be next to you in the trenches ready for war.

_Zayn manages a little laugh._

Z: And fight the enemy if he tries to attack me?

L: And fight the enemy if he tries to attack.

Z: Thanks man. I’ll pick you up on my way out, say around 8:15? 

L: Sounds good. Try not to stress out and if you want to get your mind off it, come over anytime you want.

Z: Yeah, I’ll try but I’m going to mum’s this weekend.

L: Alright, I’ll see you Monday then.

Z: Cool, good night bro.

L: Good night.

 

* * *

 

Over the weekend, Harry spends much of his time thinking about what it would be like to run into Louis again.

_What would he say? What would Louis think as he runs towards the bridge this time with two figures standing there instead of one? Should he tell Niall to sit ways away on the grass? What if others saw him and ran there before Louis did? What if Louis sits on the opposite side of the bus and can’t see out the window to the bridge?_

This was a long shot. He knew it. But he was eager to try it.

Then Harry remembers what Niall had said _“I saw him feed you.”_ Harry forgot this.

_Why did he forget this and why did Louis feed him? Was Louis gay? Did Louis think Harry was?_

Harry wonders why he obsesses over this bit of memory.

It makes him feel different inside but he can’t understand that feeling. It's been a while since he's felt anything. His pills make him numb.

He needs to reconnect with Louis, only to tell him thank you and sorry and perhaps fashion a future together as friends. Louis seemed like an interesting person. Harry would love to see what sort of spontaneous adventures come along with his friendship. Harry fantasies about the kind of trips they could take. Ones where Louis randomly stops by on a Thursday morning in an RV and asks Harry to pack up without question. _Is Louis really like that?_ Harry tries to break away from his thoughts of Louis but they trap him in again.

_Why hasn’t Louis messaged Niall? Did he already move on with his life.... grateful to have saved a life but also grateful not to be around to pick up all the broken pieces? Was Harry too much of a burden? Is it fair for him to bring people into his life during this grieving period?_

_Enough._

Harry sighs as he comes out of his thoughts. He wipes his hands with the tissues by his bed. He reaches for his anti-depressants and pops one in.

 

* * *

 

Harry jolts awake from his sleep. His body is pumping too much adrenaline, it sends him into a flight response. When he turns on the lights he realizes he is in his mother’s home again. He runs towards the door and grabs his jacket. He runs out on the streets panting, looking around in all directions. He knows he has to be here. There is a reason he is out here.

And then he hears it.

The bloodcurdling screams.

He runs towards the sound and when he gets there, he sees his mum on the ground covered in blood. There is no one else around, just him and his mum. She’s passed out. She’s not responding to him. He gets down and lifts her head up.

“MUM! MUM!” He slaps her face gently, but it comes out hard. She does not wake. He shakes her body.

“HELPPPPP!!!! HELPPPPPPP!” He screams, but no one comes.

He isn’t the only one screaming. There is a voice deep within his psyche that screams with him. He doesn’t know where it comes from, but it does and when it sounds, it comes out shrilling, loud and haunting.

“HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!” He throws his head down and holds his mum tightly. There is blood everywhere.

He looks around at the surroundings that fade to grey, the neighborhood vanishes and now it’s just white walls.

Four walls surrounding their two bodies.

On one wall hangs a door. A thick, heavy door that Harry knows he must open. He gets up and runs towards it.

He yanks.

But it does not open.

He pushes.

It does not open.

He kicks it and pounds it.

“SOMEBODY HELPPPPP MEEEEEEE!!!!” He shouts so loud that the room vibrates with his echoes. He looks back to his mother whose body is now disappearing.

“NOOOO!” He runs over. “NOOOOOOOO!!!!! MUMMMMM!!!!!!”

He tries to grab her but his hands go right through her.

“MUMMMMMMMMM!!!!”

He screams at the top of his lungs.

And then the door flings opens and in runs Zayn, holding a lit candle.

“HELPPPPPP!” He shouts as he runs towards Harry.

“YOUUUUUUUUU!” Harry gets up but before he and Zayn reach other, he is jolted awake once again.   

Harry sits up in bed. He is covered in sweat and panting for breath.

He feels weak.

His energy is all spent.

He can’t shake this reoccurring nightmare and he can’t go back to sleep.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

“How do I look?” Zayn adjusts his dress shirt as he steps out the car.

Louis scans him up and down, looking rather pleased with his friend.

“Like you are ready for the gentlemen’s club.”

He closes his door.

“I didn’t know people dressed up for these things.” Louis glimpses up at the tall building that blocks the sunlight from pouring through. “This place looks miserable…”

Zayn takes a deep breath.

“You ready?” Louis says as he turns back again.

“Yeah… yeah..” Zayn slacks his shoulders and catches up with Louis.

“You got any pleadings on you?”

“Yeah, why?” Zayn asks.

“I should probably read the background of the action so I don’t look like a fool in there.”

“True.”

Zayn reaches into his laptop bag and takes out a stack of papers. He pulls out a small wad held together by a paper clip and hands it to Louis as they turn the corner to the elevator.

“This is the statement of claim.”

“Thanks.” Louis busies himself with the document as they wait on the elevator.

“Harry?” Louis turns to Zayn. “The son’s name is Harry?”

“Yeah…..” Zayn responds in an unsure tone. “Why?”

“That’s the name of the kid I was telling you about.”

Zayn draws his eyebrows together, still looking confused.

“The one that was going to jump.” Louis whispers as they both look to the elevator that’s just open.

“Okay and …..?”

“No….. nothing.” Louis realizes he’s betrayed himself by getting excited over the name.

“We live in the UK, you realize 30% of the male population go by Harry right?”

Louis can’t help the blush that spreads across his face. _Yup. He’s given himself away now._

“Yeah.” He whispers under his breath as he continues to read the claim.

***

Outside the mediation room, a young suited man stands by the door pacing in what Zayn can only assume is nerves. He and Louis stand by the door and look at each other.

“H-Hi” The young man says. “Are you here for the mediation?”

“Yes, we are.” Zayn responds.

“Are you the defendant’s party?”

“I’m the defendant.”

“And you are his lawyer?” He asks looking to Louis.

“No! No! Gosh! I’m just his friend.” Louis soothes the buttons on the front of his shirt. “Just here to support him.” He adds in.

The young man looks back at Zayn. “Where’s your lawyer?”

“Probably running late.” 

“Okay… I’m Liam Payne, the plaintiff’s paralegal. The lawyer on this case won’t be attending.” He reaches a hand out and shakes both their hands. “I’ve also got word that the FLA claimant won’t be joining us either.”

Zayn shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “What does this mean?” His tone sounds a little unpleasant.

“We can still proceed with the mediation but nothing will get resolved.”

“What’s the point then?”

“I’ll be able to hear your evidence, prepare notes for the lawyer and I could share with you our evidence and what we intend to rely on at trial.”

“Trial?” Zayn runs an unsteady hand through his hair. He takes a deep breath. Louis can see him tense up.

“Does it have to go to Trial?” Louis asks for him.

“Well…. No.” Liam looks around impatiently. “We can talk about it more inside, I think the mediator is already in there.”

“Okay.” Louis doesn’t wait for permission, he makes for the door as Zayn and Liam remain outside.

Liam looks Zayn up and down, who catches him in the act.  He becomes flustered and passes his briefcase to his right hand as he goes to hold the door open.

“After you.”

“Thanks.” Zayn whispers under his breath.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Niall and Harry stand on the bridge as agreed upon. The valley now looks different and bare. Fall has struck most the leaves off the trees and now they stand barren. A feeling that also resonates within Harry. He begins to grown impatient. The time is 9:12 and Louis has not come.

“I don’t think he’s coming.” He says turning to Niall who is a few meters away, kicking at a rock he’s dragged from distance.

“Still too early, let’s give him more time.”

“It was before 9 when he rode past this way last time.”

“What if he starts different times?”

Harry shakes his head. He can sense it. Today isn’t the day he’d reunite with Louis. He just knew it.

“We will wait another hour.” He says, just barely loud enough for Niall to hear.

“Alright.” Niall gets back to kicking about the rock.

“Niall maybe you should go to the landing. No one is going to think I’m in trouble if they see you dribbling a rock around me.”

Niall stops and walks over with both hands in his front pockets.

“Good point… but are you sure it’s a good idea to be here alone?”

“M’not alone.” He looks around at the valley before turning back to him. “I promise. I’ll be fine.”

Niall doesn’t protest. He nods with a faint smile and walks to the end of the bridge to the grassy landing.

* * *

 

Back in mediation, Liam continues to lay down the facts and present evidence to Zayn and his lawyer, whose finally joined the group.

“As you are already aware, the FLA claimant intends to plead permanent psychological impairment.” 

“No, we were not made aware of this fact.” Zayn’s lawyer cuts in. “We would have known had you served your memorandum days in advance of course.”

Liam feels heat rising to his face. He feels attacked by the comment.

“The lawyer wasn’t in office to review it in time for early service.” He hopes the response saves his integrity.

“And what evidence do you intend to rely on for this particular pleading?” The mediator cuts in. 

 “Our claimant attempted suicide as a result of his mother’s critical condition and we have the soap notes provided by his therapist to confirm ongoing psychological impairment.”

“Suicide?!” Zayn and Louis both shout out in sync.

“Yeah….” Liam looks back and forth between the pair.

Zayn holds his head and shakes it in disbelief. “I can’t believe this.” He whispers under his breath. “When?” He shoots up to meet Liam’s gaze. “When did this happen?”

“November 3rd." Liam frowns in hesistation... "if we are being exact.” 

Louis tries to think back to the day he ran into Harry. _It was early November, yes. Payday was the 6 th on the Thursday which means… Monday had to be the 3rd. That’s the same date he met Harry! _

The possiblerevelation leaves him feeling pumped with adrenaline. The questions in his mind race a mile per second.

“It would appear to me that there are still some facts that counsel for the defendant needs to read through.” The mediator pipes up again. “I will charge half-day mediation fees if you are both in agreement to end this session now.” He turns to Zayn’s lawyer. “Please be mindful to read through the entire memorandum so that we can try to reconcile facts for next time.” He turns to Liam. “And perhaps next time you will be in company of counsel and the claimant so that negotiations can actually take place?”

Liam feels the heat rising to his face again. He nods politely. “Yes sir. I’m in agreement to end the session.”

The mediator nods in response. He looks to Zayn’s lawyer who is obviously displeased with him. “Are you in agreement?” He asks again.

“We are.” He keeps his response short and cold as he busies himself with stuffing the accordion files into his rolling case.

The mediator takes his leave followed by Liam who looks around hesitantly. He decides to nod politely at the defendant’s party before leaving the room.

“Fucking asshole.” Zayn’s lawyer swears under his breath. “They have some nerve pleading for damages last minute.” He gets up from his seat and looks over to Zayn. There is sympathy in his face. “I’m sorry Zayn, we will try to clean this up.” He squeezes the boy’s shoulder.

“How long is it going to take to reschedule?” Zayn asks.

“We will aim to re-book the mediation within two weeks. We will need a roster mediator next time!”

Zayn nods, not fully understanding the latter part of the statement.

Louis doesn’t hear when Zayn’s lawyer says goodbye to him. He is still lost in his thoughts, trying to connect all the dots.

 

* * *

 

At 9:55, Harry waves an arm at Niall who is seated on the grassy slope, picking out grass blades between his fingers. Niall waves back and gets up, dusting off his backside. He and Harry walk towards each other meeting somewhere near the middle of the bridge.

“I don’t think he saw us today.” Harry says with a defeated tone.

Niall tries to remain positive. “It’s alright Harry, we can try another day, maybe later this week?”

“Okay…” Harry sighs.

“Common… let’s go get breakfast.” Niall says, hoping to brighten the boy’s spirit, but the excitement is not reciprocated. Harry tries to avoid looking at him when his eyes start to burn with tears he fights to hold back.

“Yeah….. let’s.” He whispers back.

* * *

 

“Zayn!” Louis grabs the boy by his shoulders. “What does your Harry look like?”

Zayn is stunned by Louis sudden reaction. “Uhh… tall.”

Louis shakes Zayn for more information, though he doesn’t mean to do it so aggressively.

“He’s got brown curly hair, shoulder length, colored eyes.” Zayn appears to be thinking hard.

“Does he have dimples?” Louis asks.

“Don’t know, never seen him smile.”

“Deep voice?”

“Yes! very deep.”

Louis lets Zayn go and takes a step back. He looks down and reaches for his mouth wiping at the corners. He slowly begins to nod his head. Zayn watches, waiting for Louis revelation.

“It’s the same Harry isn’t it?” Zayn finally asks when Louis doesn’t initiate.

“Yeah….” Louis continues to nod, this time looking up at Zayn. “I think so.”

“I need a smoke.”

“And I need that statement of defence.”

“Why?”

“I need his address.”

“No.” Zayn shakes his head.

“Yes.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I need to see him.”

“And how are you going to explain knowing his address?”

 

“I will tell him the truth.”

“He’s going to hate you for it.”

Louis pauses, weighing the options.

“You are going to be another enemy in his books. Don’t” Zayn turns around and leaves the room. Louis follows closely behind.

“Zayn, maybe I reconcile the conflict between you two.”

“There is no explaining anything to that guy.”

“That guy has a name!” Louis shouts, causing Zayn to stop in his tracks and turn around.

“Listen Louis.” He closes the gap between them, his voice dipping a few volumes lower. “Don’t take me for a fool. You think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been going about this lad the few times we’ve met?” Zayn licks at his lips choosing his next words carefully. “You go now, you ruin any chances you’ve got getting with him.”

Louis puts on his best acting skills when looking appalled by Zayn’s words. “Chances? What are you going on about mate? I just wanted to help him through this.” Louis knows his words fall weak. The twinkle in Zayn’s eyes let him know that he’s read right through him.

“Fine.” Zayn’s grim look remains on his face as he reaches into his bag and pulls out the defence for Louis. “Here you go. Have fun playing the hero in this story.”

He turns back on his heels and rushes out the building.

Louis does not follow. Instead, he flips through the pages, looking for the address of service.

_3-15 Ernest Drive_

_Not too far from here._ He thinks to himself. He walks out the building determined. He will find a taxi. He will go to Harry’s apartment.

And he will…

See Harry.

 


End file.
